Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
