weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
