she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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