HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
