VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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