Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize