i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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