1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
