just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
