guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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