I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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