if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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