i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
