You just made me feel so damn special
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize