Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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