Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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