No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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