We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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