why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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