I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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