i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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