I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
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I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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