Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
