Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
