Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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