chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
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He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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