you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize