I cannot find my penis.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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