I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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