You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
