just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
