He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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