But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
