hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
