He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
