I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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