i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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