If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
