he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
