I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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