Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
