Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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