I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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