the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
40s are totally the cure
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
