at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
