: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
