We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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