Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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