as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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