I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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