im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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