good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
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I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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