the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
