6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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