I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
