??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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