you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
